Singing Telegrams
by Tattysecondhandbook
Summary: Bechloe oneshot: Chloe tries to make Beca feel better with a series of singing telegrams on Valentine's Day. Based off of Brittany's funny or die video.


**Singing Telegrams**

"Err, Chloe, you should really go and talk to Beca." Fat Amy suggested awkwardly with an innocent smile.

"Me? Why am I always the one to talk to her when she's like this?" The redhead asked, exasperated, throwing her hands up in the air and slamming her Russian-lit book shut. As much as she hated seeing Beca upset (like, really _hated_ it), she needed to pass all her Russian-lit test this year _if_ she was going to graduate with the Bellas.

"Because _you're_ the only one she ever listens to, she's ignoring everyone else in the house." Stacie pitched in as she picked up an apple form the fruit bowl that only she and Chloe ate from.

Chloe sighed, getting up and leaning against the island. Beca had broken up with Jesse the day before Valentines, and _today_ was Valentine's Day. So, naturally, Beca seemed pretty heartbroken that she wasn't spending the day with Jesse like she had for the past three years. Usually, the Bella's just split up. Cynthia Rose stayed in her room skyping her girlfriend up in Maine, Fat Amy would be with one of her many boyfriends, but today everyone suspected she would sneak out with Bumper, Stacie let Hunter lose, and Flo, Chloe, Ashley and Jessica would just go to a club or stay at home watching romantic movies. Of course, now Chloe's sole purpose was getting Beca to feel better and/or join them in clubbing or movie night. To be honest, Chloe wasn't entirely sure why Beca was moping under the covers in the darkness of her room when _she_ was the one who dumped Jesse in the first place.

She _was_ planning on just comforting Beca until she felt a little better and making the girl her favourite breakfast (triple chocolate chip pancakes drowned in maple syrup _and_ sprinkles, or _death by sugar_ , as Chloe liked to call it) until Jesse called, practically begging Chloe to help Beca to 'see the light' – see the bottom of the shithole that is most men, more like – and get her to realise that she's made a mistake and get him back. And, because Chloe was a _good_ friend and she was _not_ in _any way_ 'too blinded by jealousy to make a move when she gets the chance' as Aubrey put it, she agreed and was currently baking valentine's day cookies for the brunette, dressed in white sweats and a _handmade_ pink heart with armholes ( _yes,_ that creative design class (or whatever it was called) she had taken for extra credit actually helped her in real life)). She had a list of singing telegrams – which were a _real_ thing – at the ready to woo the brunette.

Half an hour later she had arranged the cookies, now delicately iced and sprinkled, onto a heart-shaped plate and had her first telegram memorised and at the ready. Beca may find it slightly annoying at first, but she knew that the brunette would eventually warm up to the idea.

Honestly, Chloe thought she was a genius.

Sure, she failed maps, and possibly clocks, but when it came to helping people out, she got an A*. High-fiving Flo on the way, she skipped to the brunette's room and entered with two knocks. Looking at Beca's bed she could faintly see a small lump underneath the covers, curled up into a ball.

"Singing telegram!" Chloe sang, setting the cookies down on her co-captain's dressing table.

Beca's eyes peeked out of the covers, eyebrows furrowed and looking slightly irritated.

"Chloe why the fu-"

"Shot through the heart, _ping!  
_ It's not too late, for you to say yes,  
to a date…  
With Jesse!" The redhead sung, offering Beca a cookie, which she took with a suspicious scowl on her face.

"Get out." Beca said with a roll of her eyes, biting into the cookie and humming quietly at the taste.

Chloe's shoulders slumped slightly, but she knew that Beca wouldn't accept her telegram on the first go, so she picked up the plate and began to make her way out of the room.

"What are you doing? Leave the cookies!"

Smiling innocently, she put the plate back down and scurried out to get ready for her next telegram.

"How did it go?" Fat Amy asked hesitantly from down the hall.

"She told me to get out and leave the cookies behind." Chloe giggled, taking off the heart and walking into her room.

"Don't give up!"

It took her all of ten minutes to get into her next, completely pink, outfit; jeans, t-shirt and a jacket, with a pink snapback. She took one of the many valentine's teddy bears she had lying around in her room (Chloe liked to decorate for _every_ holiday) and skipped back down the hall, walking straight into the brunette's shared room with Amy. Beca was now sitting up against her headboard, mouth full of cookies and the plate on her lap. She placed the bear (from Costco, which may have been bigger than Beca herself) next to the brunette on her bed and walked to the middle of the room.

"Never gonna give you crabs  
Never gonna give you warts  
Never gonna give you herpes,  
or chlamydia!  
Jesse got an STD test!  
…It was inconclusive!" She sang once again, this time going for a two-step.

"Gross." Beca muttered, running her hands through her hair. "Chloe, oh my god, _what_ are you doing?"

Her bubbly co-captain only winked and skipped right back out of the room, probably to get into her next outfit she had lined up. Honestly, Beca was slightly enjoying these serenades, _very_ slightly, she was grateful that her best friend was trying to make her feel better, in some weird, slightly creepy way, but nothing Chloe did was going to change her decision to break up with Jesse. And, honestly, it was just making the brunette even more freaked out about what she _was_ going to do that evening.

Chloe skipped back in, once again, five minutes later, dressed as…Britney Spears? She had nothing in her hands this time, just stared intently at the brunette before singing her next telegram.

"Oops, Jesse slept with Bree,"

" _WHAT!?"_ Beca shouted out, only to have Chloe ignore her and continue singing.

"At least she's taken!  
But you're still his queen!  
He's sorry, sorry!"

"Okay, number one, you're _crazy good_ at doing Britney and number two, _what!?_ He _slept_ with _Aubrey_!? I am going to _strangle_ that little fucker!" Beca practically screamed, hands grabbing the closest thing to her (the teddy bear) and wringing its neck.

"Okay, Becs, _calm down_. Have a cookie!" Chloe said calmly, taking one of her cookies and stuffing it into the DJ's mouth, making her gag and glare daggers at her friend, eyes in slits. Chloe ran out before Beca could swallow her cookie, closing the door behind her.

"Why did she scream?" Stacie asked worriedly.

"Because she found out Jesse cheated on her with Aubrey."

"What?"

"He slept with her. I thought she already knew, which is why she broke up with him,"

"Well nice one, Chlo, now she has every right not to get back together with him," Stacie rolled her eyes.

Chloe lowered her eyes and bit her lip, looking more than just apologetic. "I didn't mean for that to happen…"

"I know you didn't, Chlo, just go continue with your telegrams, I'm sure she's loving them,"

Chloe brightened up at that and nodded, bouncing back into her room and changing her clothes at lightning-speed, wanting to make Beca happy as fast as she possibly could. As she walked back into Beca's room a few minutes later, she looked visibly calmer and was munching on yet another cookie (honestly, Chloe wasn't sure what the shorter girl would do when she ate them all, there were only so many cookies on that plate), and looked interested to see what song Chloe was going to sing next.

"Who is a father? You, you, you! Who is-"

"What?" Beca snorted out, shifting into a fit of giggles.

"Oops, wrong lyrics." Chloe smiled with a wink. "That was meant for someone else. Okay, here it is."

"Who needs her boyfriend?  
You, you, you!  
Whose boyfriend wants her?  
Yours, yours, yours!"

"CHLO!"

"I'll be back!" She screamed, running off to whoever was screaming her name.

Beca sighed. That was possibly the first song where Chloe was absolutely wrong. She did not _need_ or want Jesse, and she couldn't care less if Jesse wanted her. She had broken up with him the day before, and that was final. She did want someone else, she needed someone else, but it was quite hard to tell that someone else when they're trying their hardest to get you back together witch your supposed boyfriend.

Yeah, relationships were complicated.

Chloe skipped back in a _hideous_ pink sweater, wearing a pink bobbly headband (or whatever you call those things) and black leggings.

"Becs, I just wanna help you find the person who makes your heart go woahwoahwoahwoah _boom boom, boom oh whoa oh whoa oh, OH MY GOD!"_ Chloe said, doing an impressively accurate representation of DSM.

Beca's heart was racing. She had to put a stop to this. She didn't know _quite_ what went on in the split second she didn't think before she spoke, but she heard the words spilling out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

"I'm looking at her."

Chloe froze, eyes widening. She slowly pointed her finger at herself. " _Me?"_

"You." Beca's pulse was pounding. She was an idiot. Of _course_ she was an idiot. Why would Chloe take any sort of interest in her? Especially when she could do so much better?

For a second, Chloe looked like she was going to explode with excitement, but she quickly changed her facial expression to unimpressed.

" _Love_ is _not_ something to joke about, Beca." She said sharply.

"I'm not, Chloe, I-I…I really like you." Idiot. She was an imbecile. She'd probably just ruined her and Chloe's relationship for ever, and they had a pretty good thing going on. Beca blushed a beet red and averted her eyes to the plate of cookies on her lap, well, what was left of it.

Chloe's face went blank. She showed no emotion whatsoever.

"Do you…do you feel… _anything_?" Beca asked, making a half-assed attempt to get the older girl to speak, but when she still showed nothing, Beca began to worry, thinking she had made possibly the biggest mistake of her life.

"Chlo? Chlo, please say something…please…" Beca pleaded, trying to search her face for any sign of emotion, getting scared that Chloe was masking disgust, or anger.

Chloe still didn't say anything, her eyes met Beca's, the DJ's unsure and regretful.

"…Chloe?"

The redhead made no attempt to speak, only walked towards Beca, crawling up the bed to sit next to the brunette. Chloe, still not talking, smiled softly, gently pushing a couple of chocolate locks away from the younger girl's face. Beca took a few breaths as she felt Chloe's hand slowly creeping down her cheek to her chin, pulling her in for the sweetest of kisses Beca had ever had. Chloe's lips were softer than any she had ever kissed, and it was a million times better than Beca had ever imagined. Both girls felt the sparks between them.  
Chloe was the first to pull away, opening her eyes in time to see Beca's eyelids fluttering to reveal rather dilated pupils and her lips still puckering up as if she wasn't ready to end the kiss yet. Chloe smirked at the effect she had on Beca.

"That answer your question?"

 **A/N: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY PITCHES, FROM YOUR FAVOURITE WRITER (lmao as if) Anyways I hope you liked this fic, and it was based off of Brittany Snow's recent Funny Or Die video, where she sang singing telegrams like the ones in the story, but I slightly altered them to fit the criteria haha. Please review and tell me what you thought!**

 **Mightttt do one outtake of this story? Yes? No? Only one though xoxo**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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